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Fixes for the 10 Most Annoying Things People Do on Airplanes
Oct 13, 2010

We recently read an article by David Nelson at Seattle City Brights entitled, "10 Annoying things people do on airplanes".  Though this is Chicago, not Seattle, we're pretty sure the list is universal.  The only thing - chartering an airplane in Chicago fixes 'em all.

# 1 - "Bring their bag that's too big to carry-on as their carry on."  I agree - you would think the airlines would catch this mistake.  But their primary concern is jamming as many people into an airplane's fuselage to help boost the company's bottom line, not watching the 'little things'.

The fix.  Well, you're bags are usually either at your side or placed in the rear of the aircraft.  You only need to pull them from the back seat to retrieve 'em.  Size isn't really going to be much of a problem as EVERYTHING is carry on.

# 2 - "People who move YOUR carry-on to make room for THEIR carry-on"  Yeah, hand's off.  If it's not yours, you probably shouldn't touch it.  It's like having someone else move your car because they want your parking space.

Solution:  Again, chartering an airplane out of Chicago pretty much solves the issue.  ALL of the baggage space is yours.

# 3 - "Intentionally leave your cell phone or electronic device on despite the crew telling you to turn it off".  Admittingly, I personally do this on airplanes.

Why?  Because I'm convinced that the only reason a major airline makes this request is to steer us to utilize their expensive seat phones.  The claim is always the same - that it interferes with the planes navigational instruments.  HA.  To quote the character "Toby" from "The West Wing" - he informs the flight crew that they always sound like idiots when they make that claim..."you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?"

Answer:  Ahhh, charter your airplane out of Chicago.  We just don't install telephones in the seat back.  You use your cell phone the way you want in the airplane.  Chances are that it won't work in ANY airplane after take off, but we'll have a future article that explains how and why that happens.

# 4 - "Getting out of your seat before permission is given by the crew".  Yeah, it's probably best to follow pilot or crew recommendations on that one, but not everyone does.

Solution:  Well, you and your companions are the only people who will be flying on this airplane.  So, honestly this isn't an issue when chartering an airplane.

# 5 - "The person sitting next to you is sitting bowlegged".  Airlines are not that great in trying to accommodate tall people.  (I know, because I'm 6' 5"). 

But we fly the Cessna Baron, which is considered the "Cadillac" of airplanes.  Every charter I've had in this airplane out of Chicago has been extraordinarily accommodating to my big frame.

# 6 - "Parents who fail to control their kids".  That probably goes for just about everywhere, not just an airliner.  If there's a misbehaving child on one of our Chicago airplane charters, chances are pretty good that you know 'em.

# 7 - "A passenger with poor hygiene or too much hygiene".  Again, agreed.  We try to limit our charter pilot's cologne or perfume intake to 3 or 4 liters per day (just kidding).  I think you'll find that smaller airplanes are much more enclosed.  Any unpleasant olfactory stimuli are probably originating from a familiar source.  "It wasn't me".  The good news is that you won't be spending much time in the aircraft as we typically have you on the ground and out of the plane in as much time as it takes to taxi from the runway.  Plus, you can open the windows on landing.

# 8 - "Being rude to flight attendants".  Hmmm, chartering airplanes from Chicago to your destination doesn't really require flight attendants.  Nipped in the bud.

# 9 - "People who put their butt or crotch in your face".  That's actually a new one to me, but I can see what the author is talking about (especially when people are using the overhead bins).  Charter airplanes are much smaller, obviously - so that's not really an issue, either.

# 10  - "People who act impatient once the plane stops at the gate".  Well, we know Chicago is a popular destination, but you would think people could contain themselves upon arrival.  Actually, this probably has more to do with the growing impatients from waiting in the airport for hours, boarding for several minutes, waiting on the tarmack.  If you're chartering though, this isn't an issue.  It's like flying a big roomy car from Chicago to wherever.  Oh, and all the lights are green.  The only waiting is for clearance from tower.